The Devil Loves You
by Knives' Angel
Summary: Knives finds Legato dying after Vash shoots him, and decides to save him. But how? What will happen between the two? KxL pairing
1. This is Not

~Alright, here it goes...this is my first real fan fiction, so be easy on me! I hope it's alright and all, I'm just so used to writing original stuff that this is totally different. So, please read and review, I appreciate it. I can use all the help I can get! I'll post some more as soon as I get some reviews. Anyhoo, its best if I shut up now. Enjoy!  
~Knives' Angel~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun! (pouts sadly)  
  
"Master..."  
  
I heard his call from miles away. It shouldn't have bothered me; after all, he was just a minion. His life, a human life, meant nothing to me. O r, at least that's what I was forcing myself to believe. As I sat back and attempted to drown out his calls for help, I tried to force these unwanted feelings from my mind. He had always been loyal to me, done my every whim without question. Should I not show him some loyalty in return?  
  
I shook my head, allowing it to fall into my hands. What was I thinking? He was nothing, what could I possibly care for him?  
  
"Much more than you should." I echoed in my mind. I was getting angry with myself, but the fact of the matter I couldn't ignore. Legato was dying, and he was perhaps the only thing, human or not, that thought similarly to me and would do whatever I wanted. Also, I found that I was somewhat attached to him, whether I wanted to be or not. Before I had a chance to realize what I was doing, I found myself seeking out the place where Legato undoubtedly lay dying.  
  
By the time I found him, there wasn't much left. He was still alive, but I wasn't sure how much longer that would last. There was a large circle of blood around his body, turning the surrounding sand a burgundy red. Staring down at him, I realized there wasn't much I could do.  
  
"Master...why...why are you here?" he mumbled a bit incoherently, eyes struggling to open.  
  
"Shut up you fool." I hissed quickly, not at all wanting to rationalize about whatever he was trying to say. I knew that if I began thinking on it, I would find myself leaving without him.  
  
Looking him over, I tried to calculate the easiest way to move him. If I did it the wrong way, he would end up bleeding out before I could get him help.  
  
As I lifted him up, I found that the term 'dead weight' was a very accurate one. In an attempt to lighten the load, I removed his heavy outer coat and tossed it to the side. Now significantly lighter, I lifted him up, finally cradling him in my arms after trying out several different positions. Ripping off a long piece of my coat, I wrapped it around his head in order to slow the bleeding. With that, I began the long trek back to headquarters.  
  
"You're the damnedest thing." I thought quietly to myself, a discreet smile of amusement escaping my lips.  
  
~Ok, so how was it? I'm glad that's over *sighs* What'd ya think? I promise to update soon!~  
~Knives' Angel~ 


	2. The Mother in Me

~Yep, it's time for an update. I'm surprised that anyone read this story in the first place! It was so short last chapter because it was a bit of an experiment and all, but I guess I have to continue it now! This one is longer, a whole 2 pages this time. Next one will (hopefully) be longer, but it will take longer to post, me being sick and all and having no idea what to write next. I know that everyone is pretty OOC, but please forgive me! *makes sad, forgive-me face* I'm new at this, and I'm not used to character personality constraints. But, I will try harder to keep everything right. It's just kind of hard to endow Knives with feelings of love and compassion, not much to work with there! I will shut up now. Anyway, enjoy, and pleeze review some more!~  
  
~Knives' Angel~  
  
Disclaimer: I (still) don't own Trigun! *sheds little tear*  
  
Chapter 2- The mother in me  
  
Once back at headquarters, I looked Legato over closely. It was a miracle that he wasn't dead already; he had lost at least two or three pints of blood through his head.  
  
Almost tenderly, I brushed some sand out of his bluish locks as I bandaged him up. I was doubtful there was anything I could do to save him, but I would do all I could. He had always been there, loyal and willing to praise, worship me like a god. If there was ever a human that I could stand, it was him.  
  
"Why did you bring me back?" he asked faintly as I tied off the last bandage. He was unconscious, yet still communicating with me.  
  
"I don't know." I answered truthfully. I could sense confusion in his mind, but I didn't blame him. After all, I myself was just as confused, if not more so. Smiling to myself, I privately laughed at the idea of me nursing a human back to health.  
  
"Even Vash couldn't do a better job." I thought with amusement.  
  
Legato let out a low moan of pain, and began to turn over fitfully in his makeshift bed. Without thinking, I lay down beside him and gingerly wrapped my arms around him in an effort to calm him. His body felt so warm to me, so inviting and familiar. He was so strong, yet at the same time, so frail. His life hung in the balance, swaying dangerously close between life and death. It was almost like a candle, burning fearlessly bright before the wind would whip by, blowing it out as suddenly as it was lit. At that minute, I vowed to myself that I would not allow that flame to go out. I would be the shield protecting it from the toxic gust of death, so that it could continue to shine in all its brilliance.  
  
Letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction, I placed my head next to Legato's and fed soothing thoughts into his mind. I didn't want him getting upset again and hurting himself, all he needed to do was lay still and rest.  
  
While I was there next to him, I couldn't help but scan through his subconscious mind. He was certainly in a great deal of pain, but I would do my best to fix that. With ease, I dulled his pain receptors so that he might rest easier. I was beginning to like this new 'duty' of mine; it gave me an almost motherly feeling of responsibility I had never felt before. Legato was dependant upon my care to keep him alive, and I enjoyed that fact. It was like playing God, pulling him away from the jaws of death and giving new life. This was power in a new form, much different than the one I was used to. Dealing death was one thing, but giving life, that was so much more of a challenge, and a challenge is something that I enjoy.  
  
With a quick glance out the window, I saw that the twin suns had sunk below the horizon, causing the sky to light up in a bright reddish gold. The first few stars had appeared, giving the whole scene a picturesque quality. It was the end of another day, and a curiously eventful one at that. I had glimpsed at a new side of myself, and assumed the new role of caretaker. Getting up so as not to disturb Legato's sleeping figure beside me, I sauntered into the kitchen in order to find some dinner. The refrigerator and the cupboards seemed relatively empty, so to my chagrin I had to settle for dry ramen noodles and some stale crackers. As I ate, I kept one eye on Legato, making sure he was still breathing. Watching his chest fall up and down slowly, I felt almost like an animal watching it's prey. At any moment I could crush him, he was so vulnerable right now. Almost like I was being controlled by some outside force, I felt my hands slip around his neck, my grip beginning to tighten. This movement was almost impulsive, like some kind of perverse reflex arc. Part of me so wanted to stop that breathing, bring it gagging and choking to an end.  
  
There was a sudden flash in my head, like I was watching an old celluloid film strip from days gone by.  
  
"You can always start over." A voice echoed softly in my head.  
  
"I don't want to start over!" I insisted, trying to push everything away. I wanted it all to stop, to leave me alone.  
  
There was another flash, but this time I could see a person standing alone, looking off at something. When it came into focus, I recognized it as Legato. He was staring at me, watching as I was reborn. In a kind of slow motion, he shed a tear from his sullen gold eyes. He cared, in some way or another, it had touched something deep within him. I didn't know how it made me feel, but it made me feel something I wasn't used to.  
  
Just as suddenly as it began, the whole scene dissolved and I was left back in reality. I had jerked my hand shakily away from Legato's neck, and I felt like I had just been in an intense fight. Staring down at my trembling hand, I felt somewhat horrified that I had hardly been able to control myself. I didn't want to kill Legato, yet I had come dangerously close. He still lay there, sleeping on as if nothing had happened. Did he know what had just happened, how close to death he had come for a second time? I doubted it, but he had always surprised me in the past.  
  
I managed to calm myself down finally, and decided to stay seated next to Legato for the night, though I was still worried that I might kill him on the slightest inclination. As I leaned back in my chair, I let my mind drift to other things, thoughts that reached far away from the place where my body sat resting. I wondered silently, did Vash's mind do the same?  
  
~Well, that's all she wrote for now. I hope you all liked it, and I'll try and have the next chapter up before Friday, or Saturday. Till then, keep reviewing and peace out~  
  
~Knives' Angel~ 


	3. Bring Me to Life

**Hey, yea I decided to update...Thanx for all the reviews! This chapter has more OOC mushiness (forgive me!) and a poorly done 'moment'. Sorry it took awhile, but here it is! (as I said before, forgive all the OOC-ness, and just try and enjoy it! Possibly, I could have more reviews? I need input and stuff! TTFN!  
  
Knives' Angel**  
  
Chapter 3- Bring me to life  
  
It had only been a few days, but it was already clear that Legato wasn't going to make it. I had been watching him get worse by the hour, seeing his body deteriorate more each time I looked at him. I had been looking after him day and night, hardly taking my eyes off him. It was hard for me to believe that there was nothing in my power I could do to help him.  
  
Placing a hand on his cheek, I found that his fever from the previous nights had not gone down. The blood tinged sweat that dripped down his forehead felt like liquid fire under my fingers. I knew that his fragile human body couldn't tolerate temperatures like that and live to tell the tale, no matter how strong the he was. As I tried my best to keep him cool, I found myself taking off more and more of his clothing.  
  
"I'm doing this for your own good." I said aloud as I pulled off his undershirt. I knew that he couldn't hear me, but I wasn't really saying it for him anyway. By now I had stripped him down to his shorts, and I was trying my hardest to keep my mind away from various dirty thoughts that passed my mind all too often. I ran a few fingers tentatively over his feverish chest, unable to stop myself. Why was I doing this? Angry at my actions, I turned my fingers downward and dragged my fingernails forcefully across the remainder of his abdomen, digging deep gashes into his hot flesh. Why couldn't I just allow him to die? He was totally replaceable, yet he wasn't. When I thought about it, I realized that I didn't want anyone else. But, if I didn't do something, I would lose him forever.  
  
I already knew I couldn't fix the wound to his head, that was out of the question. He was too damaged, it was clear that his body would be of no more use. If that was the case, then what hope did he have? His mind was still very much alive, but if it stayed within his now-useless body, it would die as well. He needed a new body, though it seemed impossible to accomplish the task of getting one.  
  
Then, it hit me. I too had been severely injured at one time, after the fight with Vash at July. I had lain resting after that, in need of revival. It was only when I was synched with the Plant that I was reborn into a suitable body. Yes, that had worked for me, but surely it wouldn't work with a mere human such as Legato. I gazed over at him once more, gauging the situation. In his condition, he would not last any more than four days before he died. If I didn't take this risk, he would die, and I did attempt to save him, he might die as well. In short, there was nothing to lose. The chance was very small that something like this could work, but if it did, Legato would be reborn as a Plant.  
  
At first the idea seemed almost blasphemous, to have a lowly human ascend into perfection. It was going against everything that I stood for, everything I believed in. of course he wouldn't be truly perfect; his mind would still be that of a human, but his abilities would be enhanced a thousand times over. He could be of much more use to me that way, being so much stronger and nearly indestructible.  
  
I looked down at him for a minute, suddenly unsure of myself. I didn't know if what I was doing was right. Could he even handle this transformation, if I managed to figure out how to do it at all?  
  
"I don't want you to die." I whispered finally, momentarily overcome. I wanted to save him so bad, but now everything seemed to be slipping away. I couldn't let this happen to him, I had decided that on the first day of this ordeal. Looking outside defiantly, I grabbed his limp body in one arm and threw him over my shoulder with one movement. I was taking him up to the Plant; there was nothing else I could do.  
  
"This could be anything, really. An end, a beginning-it's all-up to you now. I don't know what's going to happen, but it's better than doing nothing. If this all works out, you'll be something more than anyone else could imagine. From now on, it's all or nothing. What is it going to be?" I asked him silently. As always, there was no response, but part of me was sure he could hear what I said.  
  
Once we arrived at the Plant, I set him down on a small counter and began to make preparations. As I worked on, I couldn't help but spare a glance in his direction every few minutes. This was something I had never done before, and I was worried that all my efforts would be in vain if he ended up dying. Failure was something I wasn't used to and I wasn't pleased with the possibility of it's eminence. What happened after this all ended didn't matter, the here and now was the only important thing.  
  
After working tirelessly for a solid few hours, I was ready to hook him up and wait whatever would happen next. I took a few minutes to study his face before I put him inside the large light bulb shaped device. I didn't want to forget what he looked like in case he didn't make it through. Trying to take in every detail fully, I found myself studying him from every possible angle. He wasn't perfect by any means, but I came to realize that it was his little imperfections that made him uniquely beautiful. I couldn't understand why that word had popped into my head, but it was true. Legato was beautiful. I smiled slightly, finally able to think that thought freely.  
  
Before hooking up the last sensor I leaned in close over Legato, and after a few minutes hesitation, kissed him lightly on the forehead. Silently, I prayed to myself that it would not be the last time. He looked so peaceful suddenly, suspended within his temporary prison of sorts. If things worked out, he would soon emerge like a caterpillar from a cocoon; he would be a butterfly. A butterfly all my own.  
  
**So, that's it for now. I probably did the whole end thing all wrong, I really have NO idea how they revived Knives-sama ( so, I kinda made it up a bit, I hope it wasn't that bad! But, you have to admit it was sorta cute! Hopefully next chap will be longer, but I can't make promises! Laters!  
  
Knives' Angel**


	4. A Spider Becomes a Butterfly

**Well, here's to chapter 4. it took a kinda long time, but it's the longest one yet! From here on out, things get kind of mushy, so don't say I didn't warn you.  
  
Knives' Angel  
  
Disclaimer- Yep, I sure don't own Trigun. Darn.  
  
Warning- yes, there is male/male yaoi. If you don't like that kind of thing, don't read this and complain about it! it's really rude! Oh yea, and the OOCness still applies.**  
  
Chapter 4- A spider becomes a butterfly  
  
All I could do now was wait. Time passed with agonizing sluggishness, it felt like I was living every minute three times over. It was like the world was holding it's breath, waiting for something, anything to happen. I knew that this wasn't a fast process, but why did it have to seem like forever each time I looked at the clock? At first, I swore that they were broken, seeming to stop for hours on end. I periodically took them down and looked at them in the beginning, searching for some reason they were so unchanging. Finally I came to the conclusion I had known all along, it was me who was off, not them.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I stared once again at the ceiling. I had become so accustomed to this ritual that I knew every crack and scratch by heart.  
  
Gazing over to the small clock on my wall, I saw that I had been laying there daydreaming for a little over two hours. Even though it was too early, I decided to go check on Legato again.  
  
"Just the same as two hours ago." I thought to myself with slight amusement. I knew I was just making myself more anxious, checking up on him all too often. He seemed peaceful enough, his mind beginning to rejuvenate after nearly a weeks rest. Though his current condition seemed promising, I wasn't fool enough to believe that he was out of danger yet. There was any number of things that could still go wrong, ranging from bad to worse. Involuntarily worrying my lip, I wondered again if I was doing the right thing. I had no idea of a time frame for how long this would take, for all I knew it could be years.  
  
Deciding against going home right away, I sat down upon the cold metal floor and watched him. Somehow I wanted to be in there with him, in a state where the outside world didn't matter, didn't seem to exist.  
  
"It must be nice, to be able to forget. Strange, even when I was in your position, I couldn't sleep, or rest. I didn't forget anything, just remember more and more. It made me so angry, to be incapacitated and unable to do anything by myself. You were there though, so maybe it made things easier? You were there."  
  
What was I saying? There was no point talking to him, he couldn't hear me. This whole time that's what I had been doing, continually speaking to him for no good reason. Was I really lonely? It had to be the case; why else would I be conversing with someone who was as good as an animated corpse? It was simple-it didn't matter. Right now, this was the only person I could talk to that would hear me out, yet not hear a thing. That was exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to talk to myself, and now I didn't have to. I could at least pretend to be conversing with another person, which didn't make me feel so crazy. I could tell him anything I wanted and not worry about what he thought about it, or if he even agreed with it.  
  
So, I began to tell him everything. Any thought that crossed my mind, I said it without hesitation. I told him my entire past, from beginning on the SEEDS ship to the present. It helped pass the time, and in some ways helped me as well. Saying things, admitting to them, I began to realize how I really felt about certain issues. Some of what I learned about myself in that time surprised me. I learned what some of my real motivations for certain actions were, though I didn't want to believe them. So many things I had done when I was younger, I had no idea of the long term consequences. Maybe now, I still didn't. What would the consequences be for saving Legato? Once again, I had gone into something which I had no idea what the outcome would be.  
  
"You wouldn't ever leave after this, would you? It wouldn't be right, if you did. I've done a lot of things for you, you know that. Even though I take credit for doing things I never did, that doesn't mean I haven't done at least some good things for you. Well, now that I think, this might be one of the first good things I've ever done, and it still has ulterior motives to it. Does that still make it a good thing? It seems like people always say that a good deed is done without the promise or motive of getting something out of it, but you're getting something out of this too, you're getting life. Do you want life? What if you don't? What if I'm doing everything wrong again, just like always? God, I don't want to be wrong again. I'm beginning to feel that everything I've done was a big mistake. But, that's impossible, right? In over a century of life, it's impossible to have done everything wrong. That is, unless, you're me."  
  
"Do you ever think about what would have been if you had done something differently, if you could take back one thing you did? Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if I hadn't forced the ships to crash on this wasteland. It's stupid really; I can't change something that's already happened. That being the case, I still can't help myself in thinking how everything would have turned out. Vash, he wouldn't have hated me, not if I hadn't done that. We wouldn't be stuck on this wasteland, this sandy hell of a planet. If I could have just stopped all the thoughts that were going through my head, telling me that everything I was being taught was a lie, that these people were garbage, could I have made it work out? I think I was angry, jealous even. Jealous that Vash seemed to prefer Rem to me, jealous that he was the obvious favorite. Why didn't anyone care for me like that? I think I wanted that at one point, but I kept telling myself that I didn't need it. I convinced myself that everyone was against me, and everything went downhill from there..."  
  
"Is fear and anger really the same emotion? They must be, because both are felt in such close relationship with each other. When someone feels fear, it makes them uncomfortable, so they become angry. When they become angry, they are truly acting out of fear and begin to lose all logic. I think that maybe a lot of my anger comes from being afraid, for some reason or another. I become afraid that I'll lose something, so I either take action that I think will prevent its loss, which usually ends up losing it to me forever, or destroy it so I know it was at least lost at my own hands. No matter what way it turns out, I'm never happy. Right now, I'm afraid to lose you, and that makes me angry. When I found you, dying, I was afraid. When I brought you home, I was angry at myself for caring. How can I make it all end? I don't want to be angry or afraid anymore..."  
  
These one sided conversations would last for hours, serving no other purpose than to pass time and make me feel more, or sometimes less, secure. I would talk to him until I found myself drifting seamlessly into sleep. Half the time I wasn't sure if I was awake or asleep, except when I dreamed. The dreams were the same as reality, me talking with Legato. Time almost lost it's meaning, days, weeks, who knows how many passed while I waited. Everything bled together into one mass of active and passive awareness, until I awoke with a start early one morning.  
  
Something wasn't right. The usually quiet atmosphere seemed distressed, uneasy. Forcibly pulling myself up from the floor, I made my way to the main area of the Plant to see what was going on. All the readings were off the charts, and a quick glance up confirmed what was happening.  
  
"My god, he's coming." I whispered, rushing around to the side to get a better view. It was happening, without a doubt. The Plantangels belly was swollen large, pulsating with life. Any minute it would all unfold, and Legato would be reborn. All the waiting and hoping was going to pay off, but that didn't mean everything was all over yet.  
I watched in reverent awe as he emerged, surrounded by a rain of feathers. It was so beautiful; I stood there breathless as I felt a few tears escape from my eyes. Hurrying outside after it was all over, I found him standing there on the rocks, naked.  
  
"L-Legato?" I asked cautiously, not knowing exactly what he would do. He turned towards me, arms wrapped tight around himself as if he was cold.  
  
"What happened to me?" he questioned in confusion, looking around nervously at me, then himself. "I don't understand."  
  
"You've been reborn." I said simply, watching as he looked at me in disbelief.  
  
"But I died, I know I did, I had to have. I know I was dead because I saw you-and heard you-and-and-felt you." He finished, putting his head down in shame.  
  
"You didn't die. I didn't, well I couldn't let you. Are you saying I was wrong?" I ended a bit defensively.  
  
"No Master, but I don't understand. How can I be alive? I was shot fatally, I couldn't have survived."  
  
"Your body couldn't be used anymore, it was too badly damaged. The only choice I had was to put you in the Plant. I wasn't fully certain that it would work. "  
  
"But, wouldn't that mean-it would mean-that I'm..." he trailed off, shaking his head slowly back and fourth.  
  
"You're a Plant now." I finished, knowing that was the conclusion he himself was struggling to come to. He suddenly looked mortified, staring down at his body with a mixture of euphoria and painful depression.  
  
"There will be time to worry about everything later. For now, it would be best to go back and get you some clothes and some food. Come on." I said, beckoning him to follow. He took a few steps, the wind blowing his weakened body mercilessly. Sighing, I went back and draped my arm around him for support, leading him home.  
  
**That's it for now, hope you enjoyed it! Keep it up with the reviewing!  
  
Knives' Angel**


	5. Ashamed

**Sorry, it took awhile to post this. I just finished with exams and everything, and never have to set foot in school again! (silently cheers) I'm still kinda amazed that anyone likes this, but I guess I shouldn't question stuff like that. Anyway, hope you enjoy this, and the same warnings as always apply. (OOC-ness, some yaoi, nothing you arent used to)  
  
Knives' Angel  
**  
Disclaimer: if Trigun was mine, I wouldn't have to type this every single time I post something. Unfortunately, here I am, still saying I don't own Trigun.  
  
Warning: yaoi, OOC-ness, and self-doubt. If you don't like it, then don't read it. -  
  
Chapter 5- Ashamed  
  
Legato's POV  
  
Everything felt wrong. What had I just been thrown into? It wasn't possibly the same existence I had left some time ago, not at all. My way of life had been shattered, all within the space of two minutes. What had taken years to build and reinforce had been torn down like a derelict building.  
  
I glanced up a moment at Master, completely at a loss. Why was his arm around me? Why was he touching me at all? I knew it was wrong, didn't he know he was soiling himself with the very act? What could possibly make him lower himself so far? Too deep in thought to notice a rock straight ahead, I stumbled and nearly fell to my knees.  
  
"Careful." He warned, catching me in mid fall and supporting most of my weight. "I need to get you back home." Was he smiling? It seemed almost kind, no ill intent behind it. I didn't understand, nothing made any sense anymore!  
  
Once we returned home, I was given a blanket to wrap myself in and told to sit down. My whole body shook uncontrollably, no matter how hard I tried to stop it. I felt so strange, as if something more than just blood flowed through my veins.  
  
"It must seem so different to you. Soon enough, you'll get used to it. Are you cold?" he asked in reference to my shivering.  
  
"No." I replied, staring down at the ground. He made it seem so casual, as if it were nothing special. Obviously he knew how I was feeling, but there was no way he could know the true extent of it all.  
  
"Here, put these on. You'll feel a bit less vulnerable." He said as he tossed a pair of pants and a shirt into my lap. I looked up at him in dazed confusion, but he only smiled in mild amusement.  
  
"You really are out of it, aren't you? It's to be expected, you were only a human to begin with. Just get dressed, will you?"  
  
I blushed with embarrassment, feeling foolish for not understanding the first time. Doing what I was told, I got dressed and immediately sat back down out of dizziness. I felt like a limp dish rag, as if nothing was supporting my body at all.  
  
"How long has it been?" I asked after a few minutes silence.  
  
"Two, maybe three weeks." He answered. I nodded slowly, though the answer didn't mean much to me. It could have been years for all I cared, everything that my life had once stood upon was destroyed. The balance that I so needed to live by was now blurred, even broken. Where I stood now I had no idea, no way of knowing how things were to be. For the first time in a very long while, I began to question my place. It was impossible for me and Him to be equals, but what held us apart? I felt elevated in my lowliness, further down below superiority than I had ever felt before. I was a perversion of perfection, a mockery of godliness. What did he want from me now?  
  
"You need to eat something; it'll help you regain your strength. Here." He said, handing me a bowl of soup. Reluctantly, I obeyed and drank it down, even though the feeling of the hot liquid entering my stomach was nauseating. Staring down at the now empty bowl, I wondered what exactly I had just eaten. In fact, it tasted a lot like spicy cardboard.  
  
"Hey, sorry about the soup. I'm not really that sure how to make it, and that's all I could find." He admitted sheepishly, putting one arm behind his head and grinning.  
  
"You-you did take it out of the package, right?" I asked in fear as I stared at the reddish residue left behind on the bowl, beginning to worry about it being all sorts of things like melted plastic or paper.  
  
"Of course. See, it's roast chicken flavor." He replied, holding up the empty bag of ramen. Somehow, seeing the ramen package only made me feel worse.  
  
"You know, this isn't that bad once you get used to it. I hope you like it too, because it's the only food we have here." I stared at him in disbelief as he munched on the square of dry, curly noodles straight out of the bag. "It tastes a lot better when it's dry."  
  
It all seemed so normal, so relaxed for a moment. We were having something of a conversation, albeit a strange one. Even if for a minute, I had felt like I was talking to just another person, someone who wasn't ridiculously far above me.  
  
"This is the first time." I said quietly, avoiding his gaze.  
  
"First time for what?"  
  
"This is the first time you've ever talked to me." I mumbled, realizing this was true. He gave me a strange look, not understanding what I meant.  
  
"Yes, we've spoken before, but not like this, not like two people."  
  
"Like two equals." He finished, sitting down near me. "Don't you think it's kind of nice?"  
  
"But it's not equal."

"Why not?"

I stopped. He was right. Why not? _Because, you know why. Don't you dare question it! It will only lead to more problems.  
_  
He was looking at me for an answer, but I had none to offer. I tried to read his expression, searching for a clue as to what I should say, but all I could see was a sense of almost innocent wonder. He wanted to know my reason, pure and simple.  
  
"Because-I'm me. I'm nothing, and you are everything." I answered finally, knowing how simplistic it sounded.  
  
"You actually believe that don't you, with everything you are. Even now, you cling to this one idea with unwavering persistence, though the very belief of it undoes your reason for existence. Things are different now, why can't you understand? You were always better than them, and you knew it well. If you know these things to be true, why do you dupe yourself into believing that they are wrong?" he asked forcefully, though not angrily. The look in his eyes was one of perplexity, a deep rooted need to know_ why_.  
  
"I need to believe these things, because if I don't, then everything I built my life on becomes a lie, everything loses it's meaning and reason." I replied truthfully, for the very first time.  
  
"What if everything you built your life on was a lie, from the very start?" at this I paused for a long while, unsure of how to answer.  
  
"Then...I'm useless. I don't know." I lowered my head, feeling emptier than I had ever felt in my entire life.  
  
"Don't say that." He ordered almost pleadingly, grabbing firm hold of my shoulders. "Things that are broken can be rebuilt." Part of me wanted to scream at him for touching me again, for putting on this show of false compassion. I knew that I was nothing to him, why did he have to tease me like this?  
  
"I'm not teasing you. Didn't I already tell you enough times that everything is different? It's like you're hearing me, but you're not allowing yourself to listen. Just open your eyes and see for once, I mean really see. Don't cloud your mind with existing assumptions about how life works. Don't be like me." he finished quietly, looking deep into my eyes. I suddenly saw so much reflected in those oceans of light blue, such depth and emotion. He was so much more alive than anything I had ever seen.  
  
All the other humans who I so despised, I despised them because they were empty. Whenever I gazed into their shallow eyes, scanned through their pathetic minds, all I found was an emptiness so thick it would almost suffocate everything around it. Their consciousness was one big void, with no meaning and no substance. Nothing was sacred to them, not their families, not their beliefs, not even their lives. They appreciated nothing, so I gave them the gift of Nothing in return. For a while I had told myself that I was beyond that mindless, mass production profile of existence, but I soon discovered that I was just as empty as them, if not more so. Now I was staring into these orbs of fathomless sensation, and I secretly wished that I could be so alive, so real, even if for a fleeting moment.  
  
A few involuntary tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, blurring my vision. I blinked a few times, and was startled by a soft touch on my face. Looking up, I saw that He had wiped one of my tears away with his index finger, and now held it there before him, staring at it with curiosity. Before letting it drip down his finger, he licked it off and turned his eyes back to me.  
  
"You're not empty. Trust me." he said in all seriousness, finally removing both hands from my shoulders. "I think it would be best of you got some rest for the time being."  
  
"Yes, thank you Master." I managed to choke out before I headed as quickly as I could to my room.  
  
Shutting the door behind me, I pulled the sheets down and crawled into my bed. It felt so alien to me, it had been so long since I had slept there last. The air itself smelled old and stale, like it was dead. I suddenly felt so lonely as compared to the past few weeks, though I could hardly remember them. The whole time I had been unconscious, I always heard His voice in my head, telling me random things that crossed his mind. He told me everything, things he had obviously never spoken to anyone else. It was his voice that kept me anchored in this lifetime, the thread I held onto in the darkness. Sometimes, just the fact that I could sense and hear him made me believe I was already dead, because of the situation. Now I was alive, but left without a purpose. I didn't know how to live any other way than in servitude, being told what to do day in and day out. My whole world had been turned upside down, my position in life reversed.  
  
At that moment, the only thing I could have wished for would be to disappear. I was torn between everything I believed, and everything I hoped for. I had wanted death, for more reasons than I could possibly name, but I also wanted to be obedient to Masters wishes. If he wanted me to live, I would have to live, even if it made me unhappy. But I wasn't even sure if I was unhappy, wasn't this what I had always secretly wanted?  
  
_"I don't know what I want anymore."_ I thought sadly as I allowed my tears to flow freely into my pillow.  
  
**That's it for now, and I don't know when I'll be around to post more, since I am hella busy this summer. I'll do what I can however, and hopefully I'll get something up before the end of July.(hopefully) toodles!  
  
Knives' Angel **


	6. Not Meant For Me

**Sorry this is really really brief, but I'm about to run out the door to go to North Carolina! If the end of the chap sux, it's because I'm in such a hurry. Anyway, I won't be back until the beginning of august, so don't get upset if I don't update!  
  
Knives' Angel...catch ya on the beach!  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own Trigun, and sadly I don't think I ever will...  
  
Warning: all the stuff I always say. need I say more?  
**  
Chapter 6- Not meant for me  
  
Knives' POV  
  
I sat there on the couch, unmoving even after Legato retired to his room. My emotions were disjointed and mangled, stuck somewhere between relief and disappointment. Guilty for my feeling of happiness that Legato was alive once more, yet angry at his apparent inferiority complex. I knew this to be my fault entirely, but wasn't ready to deal with any more guilt than necessary for one morning.  
What did I really want from him now? The whole time I had fought to save him, I never once had a real purpose in mind. He could be of so much use to me if I only asked him to be, but was that what I truly wanted? Of course it wasn't, no matter how hard I tried to force myself into believing it! I wouldn't have gone through so much trouble to save him if I had wanted him merely for service. There was an innumerable supply of people I could use for carrying out my orders, so what would have been the point of saving him at all? This whole issue was ripping me apart from the inside out, the idea that I actually needed him, like one common person needs the company of another.  
I didn't understand this feeling, this urge for companionship that was building inside me. It had obviously been guiding my actions from the start, but where did this urge stop and the real me begin?  
Unable to clear my head of all the undesired thoughts, I threw one of the couch pillows across the room in frustration. I hated to be unsure of anything, and even more than that, I hated how my feelings were suddenly complicating everything in sight. It would be so much easier to live without them, but as of yet I had found no real way to get rid of them, and no full-hearted desire to do so. This was becoming so difficult, I wondered if I had even made the right decision in bringing him back in the first place. Somehow it was like building something from the ground up without any instructions, and without a foundation to work with.  
_I've made the wrong choice again, haven't I? I did everything without thinking it over, and in my haste I've managed to throw myself into another undesirable situation. Whenever I try to find happiness, it's always wrong! It's all his fault, it has to be. This is Legato's fault, he's the one who went out and got himself shot, and then had the nerve, the presumption, to ask me for help! Couldn't the fool just have died in peace? I hate him, I hate him for how he looks at me, how he glorifies me, how he surrenders his free will at my whim. I hate him for how he makes me feel inside...that he makes me feel...a little bit more complete. Why?_  
Standing up finally, I walked towards Legato's door, ready to knock it down out of anger. Right before I opened it I hesitated a bit, catching the sound of soft sobs from within. Suddenly I didn't feel so angry, just confused. Was it possible that he was upset, like I was? A wave of guilt welled up in me, and I wondered if I should do something to make him stop. Biting down on my lip with worry, I tried to think of what a person does to comfort another. It had been such a long time since those thoughts had passed my mind, it was hard to begin the process again. Should I just ask him to be quiet? Should I just ignore it and allow him to suffer? It wouldn't hurt him any, it couldn't be the first time that his despair was left unacknowledged.  
I let my hand slip away from the knob at last, and I turned to head for my room. As I walked away, I knew what I was doing wasn't right, but there was nothing I could do to help him. After all, what use is frozen compassion and hesitant words?  
  
Legato's POV  
  
Laying face down on my bed, I attempted in vain to stop my tears from flowing. I had no real reason to cry, but somehow I couldn't stop myself. Was it tears of joy, tears of sadness, or tears of confusion? Maybe it was all three.  
My body was still shaking like a leaf, and I was glad that Master couldn't see me now. It was embarrassing more than anything else, the fact that I couldn't control myself when it came to simple matters of the heart. Endless streams of words floated back to me, words spoken in confidence to my sleeping mind as I lay dormant within the Plant.  
_"Right now, I'm afraid to lose you..."  
"God, I don't want to be wrong again...What if you don't want life?"  
"How can I make it all end? I don't want to be angry or afraid anymore."  
_ "Neither do I." I mumbled into the sheets, touched by his words even after they had been spoken. Now that he had told me all these things, I had a completely different picture of his personality in my mind. He seemed so insecure and unsure, self-doubting and even regretful. Somehow I hadn't previously thought him capable of such feelings, mainly because he never showed them. Why had he decided to open up to me? I was obviously undeserving of hearing his inner thoughts, let alone have them be focused on me. It made me unbelievably happy to know that he had been thinking about me, but it didn't answer my question of why. Could he possibly care about me, really care about me? I knew that it was wrong to hope for something so selfish, but I couldn't stop myself.  
All my life, I had wanted to be cared for by someone, to know how it felt to be loved. Other people I saw, they knew what it was like. It made me jealous, to know that something so special was not meant for me, and never would be. Sometimes I wished to myself that I could even have a taste of this feeling, the knowledge that someone had chosen me to share this sacred emotion with. Was I even capable of feeling love in return, if someone chose to care for me? I had been alone for so much of my life, regardless of how many other people were around me. It was that sense of mental isolation that I had kept myself in for as long as I could remember that made me so unsure that I could love another person.  
"What am I supposed to do?" I whispered, having no one to look to for guidance. I wished that I was dead, and had no more problems. When I had went out and basically forced Vash to shoot me, it wasn't because I was unwillingly sacrificing myself, it was because I wanted to die. There was no reason to be alive anymore, but here I was, crying and breathing and moving and wishing it wasn't so.  
"I...I'm glad that you're alive." I looked up in surprise and saw Master standing there, not even two feet away from my bed. It had sounded like it was hard for him to say those words, but they sounded sincere none the less.  
"I know that it's going to be difficult for the next few weeks, but I think that we're just going to have to start all over, from square one. If you can do that for me, then I promise that things will get a lot better. Will you do this?" he asked, slowly getting closer to me.  
"Yes, of course Master." I answered.  
"No, I'm not asking you as your master. I'm asking you as one person asks another. Now give me your answer, not as my servant, but...as my equal."  
I paused, unable to say a word. What was he talking about? We weren't equal, was I the only one who still knew this?  
"You know, for all you talk of free will, doesn't it anger you that you don't have it? Have you completely forgotten how to think for yourself?"  
"I don't know. I never thought about it much before." I admitted, eyes fixed on my hands in shame rather than on His gaze.  
"Please, don't do this for me, Do it for yourself, and no one else. I know you can." He said, touching one of my hands lightly as if to hold it in his own. Slowly I looked up to meet his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes. He wanted me to do this so bad, I couldn't just let him down! Finally, I was able to answer him.  
"I'll do it." I said, with as much confidence as I could. He smiled, and without warning wrapped his arms tightly around me in an embrace.  
"Thank you." He whispered in my ear.  
  
**Well, I guess that's all for now! Adieu!  
  
Knives' Angel**


	7. Perfect Fit

**Hey, I'm back! I barely escaped those hurricanes, but I'm back in one piece. New chapter is finally finished, don't yell at me if it sucks. OOCness galore, and even one of those touching moments that make you go "Aww..." Hope ya'll like it, and I'll be working on the next chapter. Please read and review!**

**Knives' Angel**

**Disclaimer: I havent become a high ranking enough rich bitch to buy Trigun yet...so its not mine.**

**Warning:Yaoi, OOCness, and everything else you already know about**

Chapter 7- Perfect Fit

The rare sound of raindrops stirred me from my sleep, making a plinking noise as they streamed off the roof. Pulling myself out of bed, I headed towards the living room.

As I walked past Legato's door I found it open and him nowhere inside. I assumed that the rainstorm had awoken him as well and continued on. When I stepped into the living room, I couldn't help but smile to myself. Through the glass sliding doors I could see Legato sitting on the porch, soaking up the rain.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I slid the door aside, though not stepping out into the wet. He looked up at me and gave a bit of an innocent smile.

"Nothing really, I just like the rain. It's been awhile since I've felt it last, that's all." He said as he stared up at the gray sky. I couldn't help but watch as the raindrops slid down his face, tracing his flawless jaw line and dripping down his slender neck.

"It doesn't burn, you know." He laughed as noticed my hesitance to set foot on the damp porch.

It had been about two weeks since he had been revived, and every day he seemed to become more open with his thoughts and speech, due also to a great deal of coaxing on my part.

"Do you know what time it is?" I questioned as I took a tentative step outside. He looked up at me long enough to shake his head in a negative response before turning his sights back to the sky. Gazing upward in the same direction, the shadow of a memory crept into my head. For a second I saw ships instead of rain falling from the sky, the entire sky streaked red as they burned up in the atmosphere and their remnants came crashing to the surface.

More flashes now, my eyes opening to the scene taking place, the sudden cold realization of the reality of what I had just done. _Fear. Anger. Sadness. The sky red like blood. Invisible blood staining my hands, staining every part of my body and my conscience. **No more going back, not now. **We're in this together, dear brother. Don't look at me like that! You say the words I dread to hear, but I know you will say them. I knew you felt this way long before you lay in front of me and said it, tears flowing from your eyes...I knew you hated me._

The vision and the memories dissolved, leaving me cold and damp in the late night shower. The rain was just rain again, the sky a dark grayish purple as it should be. I looked down at my hands and watched the water dance across them, dripping down and snaking between my fingers like fresh spilled blood.

"The nice thing about rain is that it washes away everything that soiled the ground before it. The rain makes you feel pure and clean again, even if for a short time." Legato mused without looking in my direction.

"It just makes me feel dirty." I said morosely, wrapping my arms around my shoulders. I was partially glad for the rain at this point, it made it impossible to see my tears.

"You're so hard on yourself, but you would never let anyone else know that. If I may say so, nobody could possibly hate you as much as you hate yourself." He said in an almost motherly tone, so far removed from the usual deadpan voice he used with everyone else.

"I don't think he hates you, anyway. He hates himself, just like you hate yourself. You both have different ways of hiding it, but...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." He finished in a submissive and shamed voice.

"No, go on. It's alright; I want to hear what you're going to say." I said almost unconsciously. It hadn't occurred to me before, but this was the first time I really cared about someone else's opinion besides my own.

"It's not right how you constantly put yourself down subliminally. You don't do it purposely, because that would go against what you believe in. After all, if you're superior to all else then why hate yourself to begin with? Instead of being angry with yourself however, you turn that anger onto everyone around you. It makes you very unhappy, I think. "He streamed out humbly, ever aware of my body language and subtle mental messages. I thought the whole thing over carefully in my head, analyzing the previous statement. Was he right?

I looked at him now, his slight figure nearly touching my own. His eyes avoided my gaze, a sign of deference. I gently took his chin in my one hand, lifting it up so he was at sight level with me.

"You don't need to look away anymore. There's nothing before you that is magnificent to behold." I whispered quietly, a hint of a sad smile spreading on my lips. His golden stare met my own, only kindness exuding from those usually indifferent orbs. Almost magnetically he reached out for me, hands resting upon my shoulders tenderly. Impulsively I wrapped my arms about him in an embrace, assuming an almost protective stance. Running my fingers through his damp cerulean locks, I cradled his head just below mine, his cheek resting comfortably against my own.

It was like everything fit together, like a perfect puzzle. This all felt so natural to me, so_ right_. The missing pieces rested in their rightful places now, like Legato rested so flawlessly within my arms. Alone these pieces meant nothing, but united they formed something truly striking, something worthy of the name perfection.

This sense of belonging was so new to me, this glimpse of the elusive thing called happiness. Was this all it really took? Could it be that the Eden I so desperately strived for was right here in my arms? No grass, no trees, no breathless scenery, just me and him as one on a rainy night in the desert. After so long a time searching, was this what I had been looking for all along?

"Why do you feel so bad?" Legato asked after a long silence. I looked down at him, trying to form an answer. Would it even make any sense if I could find the words I was searching for?

"I...just start to think about things sometimes, and it starts to eat away at me. It's like, I don't know...like I'm being eaten alive from the inside. It can be so easy not to consider the consequences of your actions, until it's too late. I just things have been different?" I struggled for the words, hoping they somehow came together to make sense. I wanted him to understand something that I didn't understand myself.

"It's hard to say sometimes. I don't remember regretting very many things I've done, but then again you've lived more than five times as long as I have. I suppose that gives you a lot more time to think about things, since time doesn't really affect you."

"If only you were right. No one can escape time, especially not me. It's like a prison within your own mind, with nothing to do but pick apart every second of your own existence. If anything, Time is a human's most precious gift. It destroys them before they can destroy themselves, before their mind turns cold. They don't live long enough to realize that their entire life is meaningless."

"You think your life is meaningless?"

"Maybe, I couldn't tell you. All I can do is remember the things I've done, and try to figure out what drove me to them."

"It doesn't matter in the end. What's done is done, isn't it? If you can't leave it all behind, then you live your life in the past and never see the future."

At this moment he reminded me of everything I hated, all the morals of that useless woman who Vash so adored. But maybe that was why I loved him, because he was so different yet...the same as me. It was more than a little amusing to hear him spouting such idealistic terms, but perhaps that was really what we needed: a little optimism in our lives.

"The ticket to the future is blank, right?" I mumbled softly to myself, looking to the sky once more. Legato laughed a little bit as he cuddled closer to me, resting his head in the curve of my neck.

"You're starting to scare me." he informed me with a smile. Tightening my grip on him, I kissed the top of his head.

"Must be the rain." I replied distantly, a smile creeping onto my face.

**Well, that's it for now. I've got a bunch of college crap to take care of soon, so I might be a little slow. But you know...reviews always help me work faster!**


	8. Dearest

**Hey, I'm finally finished with chapter 8. (Phew!) Took me a bit of a long time, but I've been pretty busy, so forgive me. I'll try to get things up quicker from now on, but I make no promises. I hope you all like it, I worked hard! Thanks for all the reviews, and keep it up!**

**Knives' Angel**

Chapter 8- Dearest

It was late, long past the time when I usually fell asleep. Something was keeping me up, something that had been bothering me for the past couple weeks. Did Knives really care about me?

Ever since I had become a Plant and been resurrected, he had started to act as though he had feelings for me. It made me glad, but I couldn't help but be doubtful. From all the experience I had with him he seemed incapable of caring for anyone, even his own brother. Why then would he choose to show affection towards me of all people? It didn't matter that I was a Plant now; I still didn't think it was possible for him to care for me.

I felt stupid thinking about all this again, it had to be at least the thousandth time. That first day, I had thought about it until it made me cry. With all that had been going on in the past weeks, it made me wonder if the unthinkable was happening. It was almost I dare think it-were we falling in love? I knew it didn't seem plausible, but everything seemed to point to that conclusion. All of the long embraces, the kisses brushed across my forehead frequently for no reason, the sweet words I long to hear, this was my heaven. I didn't like to admit it, but that was what I lived for now. The outside world was as good as nonexistent, all of its troubles and problems disappearing within this place.

This was the closest I'd ever been to happiness in my life, but the same thought kept lurking in the back of my head. This happiness wasn't mine to have, and Knives wasn't mine to love. Vash was the only one worthy of his affections, though he could never cherish them as I did. He knew that he could have them whenever he wanted, but he would never want them. That alone made me jealous, that the one person worthy of Knives' love would never appreciate or accept it. I was just a substitute, a replacement for the one he truly wanted by his side. Eventually I would lose my place and be alone again, I knew it.

I felt like I had been born only to die inside, fixed only to be broken again. I would never be complete, never be perfect. It wasn't fair; I just wanted to be loved. Was that so impossible?

"Cant sleep again?" Knives asked as he let himself inside my room. I nodded slowly, realizing for the first time I that I had been sitting up in bed. I could feel the bed shift slightly as he sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Something bothering you?"

I wanted to tell him everything, but I knew it wouldn't help. If he really wanted to know what was the matter he could just read my mind, so what was the point in asking?

"If you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't try and fix it." he said with concern. I could tell I wasn't getting out of this until I told him something. This was one of the few ways he exerted his power over me lately, not letting me off the hook until he was sure that I had told him exactly what was on my mind. If I didn't, he would be sure that something was amiss with me, and pester me about it for so long that it was easier to tell him than keep silent.

"It's not anything that you did. It's just me. "I mumbled without making eye contact with him.

I heard him let out a deep and mildly exasperated sigh before taking my chin in his hand lightly and forcing me to look at him.

"Try again. I know you can't lie when you're looking right at me." he reminded me with a tinge of his old smugness in his voice.

"That doesn't seem fair at all." I managed to say halfheartedly.

"I wouldn't have to do it if you just told me truthfully the first time I asked. I'm worried about you. Now tell me what you really meant to tell me."

He had me locked in his unrelenting gaze, and I found unsurprisingly that I couldn't look away.

"I don't want this all to end." I answered finally, my voice quieter than usual.

"What do you mean? Why would it end?"

"Because I'm just a stand-in for Vash. I'm not complaining or being ungrateful, but I know that I'm only here because he isn't."

Knives said nothing and looked away from me momentarily. I didn't like this silence, so I forged on to finish what I was going to say.

"I just wanted to know...am I your anything? I...do I mean anything to you?" I asked as I felt the tears building up in my eyes. Knives was still silent, but in the dark I saw him flop down into my pillows.

"You've always meant something to me. How could you not? Every day I treated you like you were lower than dirt and made you feel inferior, but you don't hate me. You took care of me when I needed you the most, and I never even thanked you for it. I would probably be dead right now if it wasn't for you, but I never appreciated you at all. For all that time I abused you and damn near broke you without any regret...but you still stood by me."

"Of course I did...what else could I have done? You're the only thing I've ever known, so I have to stand by you...as long as you want me to. You are the first thing I can remember, and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. It didn't really matter how bad you treated me because I always thought I deserved it. It's like...you're my entire life." I finished, at a loss of what else to say. I had just told him exactly how I felt, and now he knew everything.

"I'm not worthy of that kind of devotion. I never did anything good for you to deserve your affection. After all, I've been trying most of my life to force my values on someone who will never accept them. I wasted all my time on that and never noticed anything else around me, including you. Why haven't you just abandoned me yet?" he asked again, still grasping for understanding.

"I'm here because I want to be. I like being around you, especially now more than ever. Besides, it's not like I have anywhere else to go." I said with a small smile.

"Neither do I." he whispered as he pulled me down next to him. "The place I want to be...I've decided that it's with you."

I stared at him in confusion for a second, not believing what I had just heard. He wanted to be with _me_? I wasn't anybody; I especially wasn't someone he would choose to stay with, to love. I wasn't Vash.

"Do you want to be with me?" he asked quietly, looking me straight in the eyes. All I could do was nod my head, for fear I wouldn't be able to say it to him. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with him, it was just the opposite. My problem was that I felt selfish almost in affirming my feelings for him. I didn't deserve him; I knew that from the start.

"It's alright. You don't need to feel like that anymore. I want to be with you, shouldn't that make you feel worthy enough?"

I stayed silent, allowing him to run his fingers through my hair absently. This is where I always wanted to be, wasn't it? Right here in his arms, without another care in the world. This was where I was finally happy, really happy. It wasn't the temporary veneer of self satisfaction I felt after killing, that always went away and left me empty and cold. What I felt now was genuine like I could reach out and touch it, just like I could reach out and touch Knives.

"I want to be with you too. You make me...happy." I breathed as I drew myself closer to him. At this he smiled, silently acknowledging my words. I could feel his heart beating against my own, his breath nearly in synch with mine. For a moment it seemed as if we were connected somehow, in the place where I ended and he began.

"I love you." he sighed in my ear, tracing my jaw line with soft kisses. I turned my head to look at his face, and I saw that he wasn't lying. This was what I had wanted for all my life, and now I had it. I had always gone over this moment in my head, pretending that it was taking place. For years I knew exactly what I would say, long eloquent ways of reciprocating his feelings of love for me. Now, no words at all came to mind, no beautiful poetic confessions from my fantasies.

"I love you too." I answered as I felt my cheeks burning red. Hooking one leg over mine and pulling me up against him he replied, "Then that's all that really matters, right?"

Nodding slightly I felt his lips brush against mine, initiating a kiss. A little shocked, I went along with it, inexperienced as I was. He was leading me through it like an old pro, seemingly trying to educate me as we went along.

"_You can kiss me back you know, I'm not going to bite your tongue off."_ Knives interjected into my thoughts, noticing I was a little hesitant.

"_I don't know how."_ I admitted sheepishly, feeling undeserving and unworthy. I knew so many things about pain, yet I knew next to nothing about pleasure.

"_Its alright, you'll be an expert when I'm through with you." _

His tongue explored my mouth freely, all the while encouraging me to do the same. Diffident still, I began to give into his physical pleas for his actions to be reciprocated. I played right into his hands, allowing myself to become as carried away in ecstasy as he was.

Devouring each other like two beasts with insatiable hunger, the heat of our bodies rose and painted watery mist upon the stained windows. We were two beings indulging in the most primal instinct of all, feeding off each others desires to fulfill our own erotic hunger. And in that, the world stood still as if holding its breath.

Knives' POV

Our passions subsided; I lay there in a haze of fading euphoria. My breath was still coming hard and heavy, I watched as my sweat-slicked chest rose up and down erratically.

Looking over at the clock, I saw that it was nearly four in the morning. Heaving a sigh and trying to get my breathing back under control, I realized I didn't want to walk back to my room.

"Hey, do you care if I sleep here?" I asked wearily as I stared at the blank ceiling. Silence answered me, along with the gentle exhalations of sleep. I didn't feel right just going to bed with him, so I started to get up.

"Don't go." Legato mumbled as he reached out and grabbed my arm. I sank back down into the mattress, smiling as I did so. When he was asleep, he almost seemed...cute.

"I don't want to be alone." He whimpered once I was safely back by his side. I'd always wondered why exactly I chose him to take Vash's place, but now I knew it was because deep down they were all too similar.

"_I wont leave you alone."_ I thought to myself as I held him close. _"After I take care of something, I'll come back and we can be together. But that cant happen until I face him..."_

**Well, what did you think? Keep the reviews up, and I promise I'll work real hard on the next chapter!**

**Knives' Angel**


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